Some Mediations on Grief after the 2024 Election
I feel like I’ve been away too long from the US and forgot how hateful people could be, even if it was part of why I left when I had the opportunity.
I did get to see the parts of America I miss and love in those last 107 days. I’ve never been more homesick than in this last week.
Harris and Trump represent the two symbolic faces of America’s struggle since its founding: the core contradiction of one of the continual pursuit of progress, opportunity, and justice for all. The other, the might is right all about getting mine racial caste system.
~74 million people voted for the Harris as of now vs ~76 million for Trump. It should be noted Obama won only 69 million votes in comparison in an era we romanticize. It’s not a mandate, and a lot of reactionary actions means a whole of the public do not know what they have and haven’t signed up for.
I recently have thought a lot about how what no one warns you about being successful is how much you will end up spending tons of time with people who obviously have never been friends with poor or vulnerable people, and it shows up in how they treat service staff and their politics.
Their mentality is, “well if it doesn’t affect you, why should you care?” You’ll hate it. There’s a difference between those who are hurting and desperate and those who are already wealthy who are obsessed with getting more who laugh those trying to change the outcome, who punch down, and are so assured of their superiority. A lot of these are men who have been socialized into cultures where they cope with their insecurity in the world by putting down women and others so they can feel good about themselves. It’s funny because these are some of the pathetic and insecure people I’ve ever met, who are the most fragile and crumple in a real fight. And they wield too much undeserved power and admiration in the world.
My next moves will account for this, especially after the events of this week. I need to spend my time and energy both for myself and others with the right people who share my values of building a better and just future for whom comes after.
I wrote after Harris lost: I remember 2016 was about rage, instead today I feel a deeper commitment to kindness and taking care of each other this time around for the fights ahead.
I keep thinking about the broadcasts of students at Kamala’s concession speech and how young and gutted they look. And about the 18 year old in Texas who died in a miscarriage due to the abortion ban just days before the election. And the women who have died in various red states in the months before.
It’s fair to have different political opinions. I’m much more right on many issues than my follow Californians and New Yorkers. But a convicted sex predator and scammer winning against former prosecutor who became one due to the sexual abuse of her best friend is a national humiliation. Any woman my age knows multiple people who were the victims of predators or has needed access to reproductive care due to miscarriages or trouble conceiving.
I feel like a big difference between my 2016 and 2024 self is I’m closer if not past the halfway mark of my life. The way I look at the world and life is no longer about my own personal rage about unfairness and discrimination. In fact, I hardly feel that kind of rage and anger anymore.
Even if I’m one of those “useless childless women,” it doesn’t mean we don’t have strong maternal instincts. I feel like I’ve gotten a lot older especially these past pandemic years where my ego isn’t all about me anymore, but my values and wanting to give a better world to the next generation. It’s hard to see that happening now, but we can still do things to make things better and spend time with like minded people and work to bring people into that fold.
I also want to say though, is how much I feel for parents of young children, especially the mothers’ of girls right now. How much I feel for older Americans in the 80s who feel like they worked their whole lives for this country to see it come to this. I can’t imagine how that feels, but these have been some of the most grief-filled conversations I had. They will fuel me forward.
A couple of parting quotes I saw on the internet.
“They want you to feel powerless and surrender and let them trample everything and you are not going to let them. You are not giving up, and neither am I. The fact that we cannot save everything does not mean we cannot save anything and everything we can save is worth saving.” — https://www.threads.net/@tomesandtextiles/post/DCB-QV8xBnk/rebecca-solnit-gives-something-to-hold-on-to-this-devastating-morningthey-want-y
“We must not give into fear or despair. In the last few days, I’ve witnessed love from all over this country and internationally that gives me hope. Let’s hold onto that and heal, rest, and live to fight another day.” — https://twitter.com/nancywyuen/status/1854050605486194785
It’s time to roll up our sleeves and get to work.
